The benefits of menopause
I can just hear your thoughts now - “The benefits of menopause - really? Are there any?!” I’m hear to let you know there ARE benefits but they may not be what you think.
As someone who is experiencing a very long perimenopause (14 years so far!) I’m very much looking forward to finally getting out the other side. I also don’t want to rush it though, because although it would be great not to have periods and the hormonal fluctuations and mood swings that go with that, I also get the benefit of oestrogen keeping my skin moisturised, soft and supple, my veins and inner parts elasticated and moisturised, my bones nice and strong and my heart in good health. So I’m okay with being in late perimenopause.
I’ve also noticed though, that the difficulties I had earlier in my journey are much less these days. I feel almost back to my old self with increased energy, better sleep, less mood swings, and the ability to concentrate again. So I can see the other side, even though I’m not quite there yet.
So what, then, do I think are the benefits of menopause?
Well, to start with they are less physical and more intrinsic so we need to get rid of this idea of everything being just physical and that our physical bodies are somehow separate to the rest of us.
Oestrogen affects every part of our body, including our brain. Unfortunately the focus to date has been on the physical side of peri/menopause - hot flushes, night sweats, weight gain, sore joints etc. There is now a recognition that foggy brain, inability to make decisions, mood swings and emotions are part of the package, as is depression, grief and rage. In fact, there is a new book on this called “The Menopause Brain” by Dr Lisa Mosconi which I’ve just ordered so I shall be reading that with a great deal of interest.
But there are other changes in our being that are not physical and they can be very beneficial. So what am I classing as the benefits of menopause?
The need or desire to put ourselves first, finally!
A focus on self care and listening to what our bodies need
Setting strong boundaries
Saying no
Not caring what anyone else thinks
Being less judgemental
A desire to follow our own true path, rather than doing what everyone else thinks we should do
Reflecting on the first half of our lives and deciding whether we want to continue on in that vein for the second half of our lives
A new sense of purpose and direction
A feeling like this time in our lives is our time and we will use it how we see fit
This to me marks the entry to our Wise Woman years. Women have been the providers and nurturers, supporters and upholders for so long. When we get to midlife and start the transition into peri/menopause it can come as a shock. We don’t think we are ready for it. We don’t want to go there yet, but that’s mostly because Wise Women are not revered in our society. For some reason young and fertile is seen as better than wise and sexy. And yes, I said sexy because mature women know what they want, including in the bedroom, and that makes them sexy.
(Side note, if you are having problems with intimacy because of dryness down below, there are things you can do to help you in that area, so don’t let that stop you! Talk to your Doctor, Pharmacist or me to find out what you can do here.)
Imagine doing what you want, how you want, without concerning yourself with what anyone else thinks about how/where/why you are doing it. You are doing it because it brings you joy, pleases you, fills you with vitality and enthusiasm. And that joy brings a glow and happiness to you that ripples out into the world. You are still the loving, caring person you’ve always been, it’s just now that focus is on you first, then everyone else.
Imagine finally saying no to the things you really don’t want to be doing, but have been doing for so long because of what feels like an obligation to do so. The freedom this brings can be enormous. Don’t worry - there are others waiting for the opportunity to step in and fill that role so you are free to let it go.
You won’t be a lesser person because of any of this. Your personality won’t change overnight. You are not going to become self centred and mean. In fact, you may find people find you more vibrant and enthusiastic because you are finally living how you want to live, setting clear boundaries, and saying no to the things that no longer work for you.
And isn’t that a benefit? To feel more alive, more at peace with oneself, more true to the core of your being? That, to me, is the true benefit of menopause.
It can be hard to see any benefits when you are in the thick of things and wondering whether your body is falling apart. I hope you can see there IS something to look forward to in this next phase of our lives and there are benefits of this momentous change we go through.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Let me know what you think!
Karen
PS: If you are wondering why I chose a butterfly image for this blog, it’s because butterflies represent transformation. They go from a caterpillar into a cocoon, where they spend time completely metamorphosing until they emerge as a somewhat fragile but beautiful butterfly. As they exercise their wings, they become stronger and more confident until they fly off into their new future - very much like a woman going through the menopause journey.
