Celebrating our power
I’m all about power at the moment. Having given my power away a long time ago I’m thoroughly enjoying the sense of freedom and achievement that comes with claiming it back.
I’m also loving seeing my clients reclaim their power. It comes in many forms:
speaking out about things that happened many moons ago
loving their bodies for the way they are now and all that they’ve created, nurtured and nourished,
starting new lives that are completely different to the ones they’ve been leading up until now.
Snails pace
It’s been a long slow journey for me. I would have liked things to move a lot faster actually, and to feel this sense of strength and sovereignty earlier.
But it’s not about the destination, as they say, it’s about the journey and all the things I’ve learnt along the way. There are some things you simply can’t speed up, even though we want them to move faster because they are uncomfortable.
What I’ve learnt
I’ve learnt I can rely on myself, that I make good decisions, that being out of my comfort zone (which is always hard and uncomfortable!) allows for growth in areas I would not otherwise have experienced.
I’ve learnt I have tenacity to keep going, to keep showing up even when the chips are down, to believe that all will be right in the end.
I’ve also learnt just how much support I have around me and all the wonderful ways that people show their support. It’s been humbling and amazing all at the same time.
Menopause is the time to question
As women, our power was taken away thousands of years ago. We became property and were stripped of rights. It’s taken a long time to get those rights back, and we are still working on that, even today.
Our midlife and menopause years are the time where we start questioning everything in our lives. This is normal and important, because we need to understand who we are now and who we want to be from here on in.
We are at a stage where we can make dramatic changes if we want to, or stay just as we are. Unfortunately most women aren’t aware this is what midlife and menopause is all about. They think this is their life and they have to stick with it.
But there is a huge opportunity as we surf the waves of menopause and question everything about ourselves, including our sanity!
35% of our lives are spent in post menopause
The opportunity is to reflect on our lives so far, deal with any unfinished business, heal old wounds that undoubtedly come back up for healing at menopause (and we always think we’ve dealt with them decades ago😉) and decide what kind of a life we want from here on in.
We’ve got another 30-50 years ahead of us after menopause. That’s a long time. In fact 35% of our lives are spent in post-menopause. There is a lot of opportunity in that time to do something amazing with our lives rather than just fade into non-existence, which seems to be what many women think happens after menopause.
It doesn’t have to be a huge public event or business to be amazing. It just needs to be amazing for you. It could be living off grid and being self sufficient. It could be backpacking through Asia, or retiring to Vietnam. It may be to enjoy a cold water swim every day or go vegan.
If there’s a dream you had when you were younger that got put on hold for careers or families, or whatever else came up, this is the time to get that dream out, dust it off and crack on with it. Or create a new one.
Reclaim ourselves
It’s time to put a stick in the mud and reclaim ourselves - who we are, what we want, our purpose and direction. The great thing about midlife and menopause is that we stop worrying about what everyone else wants and thinks, and start focussing on ourselves for a change.
If people don’t like this change in you, that really is their problem, and I say that in the nicest possible way. You are not here to manage other peoples emotions. That is their job, just as it’s your job to manage your own emotions.
You are here to do what is right for you, what feels right in your body. You are not here to spend your whole life pleasing everyone else and ignoring your own wants and needs. That just builds resentment and frustration in you, which often results in a physical ailment down the line.
Regrets
It’s worth remembering that the top regret of the dying (from Top 5 Regrets of the Dying by Bronnie Ware) is the following:
I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me
Menopause is both your opportunity and your signal to make changes so that you can live the life you truly want to be living.
Having done exactly that myself, I can tell you it’s well worth doing, but it does come with challenges. If you let the potential challenges and fear of the unknown stop you, you may find yourself lamenting the above regret as you near the end of your life.
Are you living your best life?
Not everyone needs to create dramatic change. There are some amazing women who are living their best life already, and loving every minute. They tend to be the people that make us think “I want to be like her” because we see them standing in their sovereignty and power, and we admire that.
Well, you can be like them. Or better still, you can be yourself - that wise woman who has spent decades honing her skills at life, that shines her light brightly and sends ripples of positive energy out into the world.
You are beautiful, you are wise, you are powerful. Live the life you want to live.
Kàren
