What’s the deal with feminine business?

My move to another location has mean I’ve had to establish new connections and make new friends. When you are in this situation it’s hard to know where to start and I’ve heard of people moving to new locations and still not really having any friends two years in.

I was already part of a women’s business networking organisation and, lucky for me, there was a group in my new hometown so I transferred my membership and started attending meetings in my new location.

To be honest, it’s been quite a relief. In amongst all the turmoil of the last year, there has been stability and structure provided by this group. I’ve also met some amazing women that I would not normally have crossed paths with.

Connections lead to connections

Through those connections I’ve found out about other feminine business groups around the area and have joined several of those as well. I’m meeting more and more women who are like-minded and again, meeting more people I simply wouldn’t have come across in my day to day interactions.

I’m amazed at the number of feminine business groups that operate in my locality. They are all about making connections and sharing information.

Corporate discomfort

You’re probably wondering why I’m putting so much emphasis on feminine business. How big a deal is it really?

Well, from my point of view the way of ‘feminine business’ resonates for me. It feels more comfortable. I’ve never truly felt at home in the corporate world and now I understand why. I was continuously operating in my masculine and repressing my feminine way of doing things.

Feminine business

Feminine business is more intuitive, more feeling based. According to bthechange.com it includes things like “receptivity, adaptability, creativity, beauty, flow, sharing, gentleness, patience, vulnerability, empathy, openness, variety, trust, and harmony”. These are all things that resonate strongly with me.

In my mind it’s also focused on working together to achieve a result and sharing our knowledge for the greater good.

The strategy of feminine business is to work as a magnet and draw people to you who are meant to work with you. It’s a pull rather than a push.

Masculine business

On the other hand (and again, according to bthechange.com), the masculine side of business focuses on “freedom, direction, logic, reason, focus, integrity, structure, stability, passion, independence, discipline, confidence, awareness, discernment, authenticity, strength, clarity, assertiveness, order, and convergence”. There is a tendency towards competition, productivity and making money.

The strategy of masculine business is to compete, stay focused and keep pushing until you get a result. It’s a push rather than pull focus.

Why change?

The masculine way of doing business has many good things about it - there is drive, passion and motivation. It has got us to the present day, but we are seeing that it’s not working as well as it could. So many people are in burnout. Their stress levels are overly high. People are stuck in roles they don’t necessarily want to be in but don’t have much choice. We all need to earn money so we do what we have to do.

It feels like a treadmill and operating on autopilot rather than really thriving and growing. It’s all about productivity and the bottom line rather than about the people and providing a service.

Women in particular have had to operate in ways that don’t sit well with them simply to be seen and heard, and to get ahead in a masculine environment.

We’ve all heard stories of the female boss that was tougher than the males. It’s because she had to prove herself and become one of the boys in order to get ahead. She had to downplay her nurturing, inclusive side and amp up her driven, ambitious and hard nosed side. In fact she had to be tougher than the men in order to succeed.

That’s not to say that all women are nurturing and empathetic. We have both masculine and feminine energy within us and some women have more masculine than feminine, and some men have more feminine that masculine. But the women that have succeeded in business in the past have, I suspect, a higher dose of masculine energy than feminine.

Change is afoot

I think we are slowly seeing a conversion to more feminine ways of working all over the world. Going are the 'sausage factory’ organisations where you were just a resource to produce a certain amount within a certain timeframe, ensuring you left your home life at the door.

Organisations are now valuing the whole person. They know that home life scenario’s have a big impact on work performance and output. There is more emphasis on employees wellbeing, and there are strategies to cope with stress and other work related issues. There is more empathy coming through which is really encouraging.

This is more aligned to the way of feminine business. We’ve suddenly realised that health, wellbeing and happiness in our staff means greater productivity and output, as well as a better workplace culture.

Can it go too far the other way?

The truth is, we need a balance of both masculine and feminine in business, just as we do in our everyday lives.

Heading too far into the feminine may mean things become too wishy washy with no real aim or direction. Too far into the masculine reduces the care and empathy.

It’s about balance. Neither one is better than the other. They complement one another provided neither is used in excess.

Where do I sit?

When I look at myself, I realise I’ve been very much stuck in my masculine. I’ve been producing, demanding, and looking for results rather than letting things flow, allowing ease and grace into the business.

And yet there has been a longing to ease off and simply allow but a fear that in doing so I’m not doing enough and will never earn a cent. The ‘hustle’ is so ingrained in us it feels wrong not to be pushing things. And when you don’t have a regular income, going with the flow feels way too scary to contemplate.

Taking a step back

It has been interesting to realise this and to take a step back from the business to allow it to settle. Outside stresses have meant I’ve put a lot of pressure on myself to ‘make it work’ when in reality I just needed to relax and let it flow.

As much as the more graceful and intuitive way of working feels right, it’s hard to do when you’ve spent your lifetime working in the masculine way! There is a lot of doubt. Will it work? Am I deceiving myself? Can I trust that things will come together?

I want something different

There is a lot of noise about ‘how to do business’, including from women, and it usually focuses on hustle and pressure which are on the masculine side. I really don’t enjoy this. It actually feels foreign to me. I have to force myself to do it and often I find there is no real benefit in doing it.

I want to try something different. I want to draw women to me who connect with me. I want the right women to come in to my circle so that we can work together to create a better life for each of us.

So I’m letting go of the masculine and embracing the more feminine way of working. It feels like a better fit for me. Having lived and worked in the masculine way for over half a century (gosh that sounds old!), it will be interesting to see how a more feminine way of working goes.

Fingers crossed I find my flow and life becomes swimmingly good!

Karen