My journey to the Akashic Records
Those of you who have followed me for a while will be aware of my journey and the ups and downs this has presented, but for those of you who don’t, this is my story.
It’s not been easy
It hasn’t been a particularly easy journey. It started with perimenopause arriving in 2010 (which is still ongoing - I’m not in menopause yet!), followed by a concussion in 2015 which took two full years to heal, and a totally unexpected spiritual ‘awakening’ in 2017. It felt like I was being challenged on all levels concurrently (which I was!).
It was incredibly confusing. My sense of Self was deeply challenged. I had no idea who I was, what I wanted or where I was going. I was simply trying to get through each day in one piece.
I was also still working full time and trying to be present for my then teenage boys sitting exams and my husband at the time who was finding my difficulties challenging in his own way. To be honest, I don’t think I was very present for any of them but I continued to show up and do my best. I was trying to support them but in reality I was the one needing support. This made it feel like I was a bad mother and partner.
It was hard to figure out whether the issues I was facing were caused by perimenopause, concussion, or various things that were going on from a non-physical aspect. It was all so confusing.
Meaningful support was hard to find
What I was finding, and what those around me witnessed, is that it was hard to find any meaningful support. Many avenues I tried seemed to be ‘closed’. There would always be something that stopped the help I needed from getting through.
What I can say is that during this time I had a good perimenopause doctor (very rare back when I started seeing her) and HRT certainly helped me manage the emotional and physical upheavals that come with perimenopause and balance them out as much as possible.
But as I’ve said before, perimenopause and menopause is not just about the physical aspects. It’s very much about finding oneself again, reclaiming our power, and stepping into a whole new life in a meaningful way.
My experiences have shown that there is very much more to life than just our physical bodies. In my journey, I dearly wished there was someone to turn to who could guide me, who could help me understand what was going on, and help me find ways to manage it and to grow through it.
I didn’t understand
I didn’t understand the perimenopause journey. I didn’t understand the spiritual journey. And I no longer understood me and my place in the world.
It was a chaotic and stressful time. I had lots of support around me, yet I felt very lonely. I was on a solo journey that no-one else could help me with, no matter their good intentions.
I hit rock bottom. I was operating on 3-4 hours of broken sleep a night, with the longest stint usually being 90 minutes of sleep in one go. I took it as a win if I managed to get 5 hours of broken sleep a night.
People used to tell me to “be strong” but they had no idea just how much it took to keep turning up each day. It made me angry that they were telling me to be strong when that’s literally all I’d done since my concussion and subsequent spiritual awakening. Several years in, my strength was beginning to wane.
What I wanted to hear was that they would walk beside me. That they would be with me on this strange journey, and that they would support me in whatever way they could.
And in actual fact, that is what they did. Everybody stood by me and I’m so incredibly grateful for the support I had at the time. But to keep being told to be strong was anger inducing to someone whose resilience was already at it’s lowest.
People were trying to solve my problem when they had absolutely no experience or understanding of the issues themselves. They would tell me to try this, or that, or something else, all of which I’d tried multiple times with no success.
It took all I had
It took everything I had, all my courage, all my strength, and all my determination to find the light in my life again to be able to climb out of that space where there was simply no energy left, combined with a deep sense of hopelessness, defeat and despair. I didn’t know what was happening, why it was happening or how to recover from it.
If it had been just one thing at a time, I think I would have managed reasonably well, but all three things together really knocked me sideways. Life isn’t like that though. It provides opportunities to learn and grow by pushing you to your limits.
I literally had to throw everything into my self care. And when I say “self care is a way of life” I really mean it. It’s come from me learning this lesson in the hardest possible way. For me, and for other women going through various midlife challenges and perimenopause, it’s one of the most important things we can do for ourselves that will help us regain control.
I put myself last
I realise now that one of the things holding me back from self care was feeling like I shouldn’t be spending money on myself. It wasn’t the HRT or any other form of medication that brought me back to myself. For me I needed radical self care which took the form of lots of energy work (Reiki mostly), Neuro Emotional Technique, homeopathy, time by myself, herbal remedies, time in nature, counselling, meditation, yoga and learning about what was going on spiritually.
It also took a lot of inner work, looking at what my beliefs were and how they might be limiting me, what patterns of behaviour I was holding on to that were outdated, and how I could make the inner changes which would enable me to see a positive future for myself.
I braced myself for the inevitable questioning as to why I was spending so much money on what were considered weird and wacky things, but remarkably, the questions never came. I think it was obvious to all around me that I needed to do whatever it took to get back to myself again.
Now I look back and see that this is typical “put yourself at the bottom of the list” thinking, and feeling like I didn’t have permission to spend money to look after myself. The reality is, if I’d applied radical self care sooner, I may not have suffered as long as I did.
After sustained self care (i.e. throwing everything I had at it), I slowly began to return to myself, to get my energy back. The spark eventually came back into my eyes, but it took years.
More boundaries, control and power
My spiritual journey made me realise I needed better boundaries in my life and that I needed to take back control and step into my power more. It wasn’t easy to do this. I’d had a life time of being the people pleaser, the harmoniser, of doing what it took to keep everything on an even keel and not rock the boat, so changing this side of myself was challenging.
I had returned to work after 10 years at home raising the boys. During that time everything had changed and I’d lost confidence in my abilities and my knowledge. I felt that everyone was younger than me and knew more than me. I was going through so much at the time, I ended up sidelining myself because I didn’t have the confidence or energy to tackle something new and challenging. As a result my work wasn’t lighting me up even though I worked for a great company and with a great team, I was simply on autopilot.
Outside of work I started learning new things to provide interest and excitement in my life, and found I was quite good at some of them.
Eventually, when I felt I had my life more under control, I retrained as a life coach, which I find incredibly inspiring. Given my adventures in life, I focused on midlife women and what they were facing. And of course menopause is a big part of that, so further development around menopause was undertaken.
The Akashic Records
Eventually the Akashic Records came into my life. I found the readings I had in the Akashic Records so incredibly helpful. They gave me direction, purpose and understanding. They helped me heal and they cleared my blocks. Things started to make sense. Finally, after 10 years of what felt like struggle, difficulty and confusion, I was getting some answers and an idea of the way forward.
I was getting clarity about what it was all about and the reason for certain things happening. I could make sense of it and this has helped me grow and develop in new ways. It inspired me to become an Akashic Record Reader myself.
The information I get from the Akashic Records is always gentle, uplifting, supportive, and it provides guidance and direction but without judgement or telling you what to do. It is all the things I wish I’d had over the last ten years and longer.
For me, it’s like I finally have someone walking beside me who can shed some light on what is going on for me and who helps me look at things from a different perspective so that I can move on. There is no judgement or criticism, only kindness, clarity, healing, understanding and love.
Your guiding light
If you resonate with any of my journey and are wanting some support, I can highly recommend an Akashic Record reading. They truly are phenomenal and will help act as your guiding light through any challenges you may be facing in your current journey.
Even better is when a Reading is combined with a coaching series to support you through whatever confusion or mayhem you may be experiencing so that you can come back to a place of peace, purpose and direction within yourself.
And obviously I’d love to be the person to walk beside you all the way. I’ve been there. I understand. And I can help you find your light again.
