Your Second Spring is coming
I found out recently that in Traditional Chinese Medicine, the time after menopause is known as your Second Spring. Immediately my ears pricked up and I started investigating. What is this Second Spring? What’s it all about because it sounds promising.
And it is!
Peri-menopause and menopause
We are all pretty familiar the fact that a woman has entered menopause when her menstrual cycle has stopped for 12 months. Prior to that phase we can be in peri-menopause for quite some time. For some women peri-menopause starts in their 30’s, and for others in their 40’s. But not much is said about the time after our cycles have stopped. It seems to be menopause, full stop. There is nothing more.
The Western view
In Western society, the focus is always on young women i.e. those in their 20’s, 30’s and 40’s. Where are the women in their 50’s, 60’s and 70’s? Except for the likes of amazing women like Dame Judy Dench and Dame Helen Mirren, most women just seem to disappear in their later years.
Case in point, as I looked up images for this blog post I typed in “mature woman” and got hundreds of pictures of 20-30 year olds, and even a few men, but only 3 or 4 pictures of older women - and they looked like they were in their 80’s. When I looked up “old lady” I got hundreds of pictures of very old ladies. “Mature lady” got me the same old ladies plus lots of very young women with the odd one or two not very good pictures of mature women in there. Where are the mature women?
Typically men don’t seem to have this problem - they are seen as a Silver Fox and are often celebrated, but the women seem to be flying under the radar. Unseen, unheard, not celebrated and undervalued.
The Eastern View
In Traditional Chinese Medicine, the Second Spring is celebrated as a time when women are respected, their wisdom is valued and it’s a time to focus again on her personal potential. As one article put it, it’s “an opportunity for a rebirth of herself, for herself.”
The concept of the Second Spring is that it is a time of transformation, a time of rebirth, exploration, growth and creativity. Our First Spring was in our teenage years when menarche occurs (the onset of menstruation). If you think back to your time as a teenager and the onset of your periods, you’ll probably see your growth and development as a woman at that time. This was a time for finding yourself, exploring your individuality and your sexuality, figuring out how you wanted to be in society, what was important to you, and what you wanted to do with your life.
And that’s why the Second Spring is so exciting. Far from fading into the background, it can be a time when women focus on themselves for a change. Rather than “what do I need to provide for _______?” the question becomes “what do I want?”
Depressing or exciting?
Of course it’s down to us to decide to take this opportunity of transformation. We can choose to look at menopause as this horrible, painful, strange transition where our bodies do the weirdest things and it’s generally confusing and uncomfortable. Or we can decide to look at it as a natural transition getting us ready for our next exciting phase.
Following that transition, we can either decide to transform ourselves into an amazing, powerful woman full of wisdom and knowledge, or we can decide to fade into the background and let others take the lead.
Rather than slowing down and getting ready for retirement I’m thinking this is going to be the most productive, worthwhile and rewarding phase of my life. There is so much I want to do and experience. In my mind I’m thinking “I have this new freedom, this opportunity to be totally me - what am I going to do with it?”
Something else to look forward to…
There is even the promise of better sex! Really?!
Apparently there is a freedom in not having to worry about getting pregnant, and some women even say that they are having the best sex of their lives in their 60’s and 70’s! In my book, that’s definitely something to look forward to. 😉
Wisdom and freedom
The feeling is that by the time we enter our Second Spring, we have decades of life experience behind us - and that brings wisdom. But we also have the advantage that we are no longer so concerned with what everybody else thinks of us, or the ‘rules’ we are supposed to stick to. And that is where the freedom comes from.
Freedom to be who we want to be, to do what we want because it feels right to us no matter what anybody else thinks. We’ve forged our careers, and are probably pretty good at it by now, and we’ve been in long term relationships, raised families, done all the dutiful and right things to do. Now it’s our turn. Time to have some fun!
It’s becoming a thing
Women around the globe are starting to cotton on to this idea and take up the mantle. There are books and podcasts starting to focus on life after menopause and our Second Spring. There are Instagram accounts focusing on midlife and menopause. And they are all reminding us that we don’t have to lie down and just disappear.
Our Second Spring is OUR time. It’s a healthy transition that our bodies make from being ready to support and grow another, to focusing back on ourselves again. And our bodies haven’t done that since pre-teen years. It takes quite a while to get our head around this, which is perhaps why peri-menopause is such a long winded process.
The seasons
Menstrual coaches often talk about seasons and cycles. Our menstrual cycle is likened to the seasons, with the time after our bleed being spring and summer, where we are outward focused, creative and expressive, followed by the more inward focus of autumn and winter as our body gets ready for our next cycle.
This seasonal transition happens in our life as well. Kate Codrington talks about our maiden and mothering phases as being our spring and summer, and our peri-menopause and menopause phases as being our autumn and winter. Then we start the cycle again with our Second Spring, through summer when we are fully flourishing again, and we begin to slow down for a second time as we move into our final autumn and winter phases.
The autumn phase of peri-menopause gives us time to re-evaluate, to go inwards again and focus on what is happening for us. As we are transitioning through menopause we go deep within and reflect, inspect, interpret, release what is no longer serving us and recharge ready for a new energy to emerge in Spring when we are back in growth, exploration and outward expression.
I’m going to have a ball
I, for one, am absolutely looking forward to my Second Spring. I plan on using it well and having a ball. I’m probably going to break rules (which is very unlike me) and do things I haven’t done before. In fact I already am - but that is the point. If I can’t have fun and fully be me now, when will I? So who cares what everyone else thinks. I’m just going to do it anyway.
Karen
