Change is happening all the time. Everything changes - the weather, the seasons, our age, our job, our health, whats normal or not normal in society. It’s all in constant motion. But there are some things that cause more distress than others.

So what makes some change hard to accept?

It’s usually when we don’t have control over it. If it’s out of our hands or the change is sudden and unexpected, then it becomes stressful.

It’s not just big changes that can cause us discomfort though, little changes can affect us as well. Changes in diet, changes in environment, unwanted weight gain, new neighbours, friendship changes and a myriad of other things that can add up to change feeling uncomfortable. On top of all that are inner changes such as changing our beliefs, our values or understanding of the world. If these things are challenged in some way and we’re forced to relook at them in a different way, this can also cause a great deal of stress.

How do some people manage to cope with change while others suffer greatly?

According to Spirit, it mostly comes down to our worldview. Those with a positive worldview are more likely to embrace change as something good, whereas those whose worldview is more pessimistic will probably find change significantly more difficult and distressing.

A lot of the way we look at things is due to our upbringing and culture. They have a significant part to play in forming our worldview, but it doesn’t mean we have to keep that view for ourselves. We are able to change it - we all have free will.

I’ve asked Spirit, is it really as simple as that? The answer is yes, but as humans we like to overcomplicate things. We like to lay the blame on parents, employers, economic recession, bad luck, and anything else we can think of, because we focus on being a victim and these things happening to us rather than for us. Instead we need to change our mindset which will change our worldview.

What do I mean by mindset?

The Cambridge dictionary describes mindset as “A person’s way of thinking and their opinions”. Verywellmind.com say “Your mindset is a set of beliefs that shape how you make sense of the world and yourself. It influences how you think, feel, and behave in any given situation.”

The way we think about something effects the outcome, so if you go in to change fearing it, worrying about it or being angry, it’s likely that the change will be more difficult for you than if you considered it to be positive in some way, or that there are likely to be some silver linings, even if it looks challenging at the start.

You own your mindset

We are all responsible for our own mindset, we cannot blame it on anyone else. And your mindset affects your worldview. According to Collins Dictionary “A person's worldview is the way they see and understand the world, especially regarding issues such as politics, philosophy, and religion.”

When embracing change, the question you need to ask yourself is:

• “What’s my mindset here and how is it influencing my worldview?”

Actively work towards having a more positive mindset by writing a list of the negative things you think could happen because of the impending change, and then ask yourself:

• “Is there any evidence that this is true?”

Call yourself out on what’s actually true and what’s not. Rewrite the story you are telling yourself about what this change means for you, and put a positive spin on it.

You have the power

It’s in your power to change your mindset which will in turn affect your worldview. A positive mindset is likely to lead to a worldview that allows for a greater acceptance of change. And a greater acceptance of change means less stress.

Change can be challenging, no matter what, but if you actively look for the silver linings and seek to embrace the change, you’ll find yourself accepting it much more readily.

Karen