Sometimes when we hang on to things too tightly, it stops us from moving forward. I was reminded of this again just recently in my efforts to buy a house.

The background

I moved to the Wairarapa two years ago, and have spent the last year house sitting for other people whilst being based at my mothers. It has to be said that moving back in with my mother at the ripe old age of 55 was not on my list of expectations for this time of my life! However, I have been in and out of her place doing both long and short stints of house sitting so I haven’t been there on a continuous basis.

12 months of searching

Over this last year I’ve looked at every type of house that might remotely fit what I was looking for. Most of them were dreadful and quite depressing. It felt like what I was looking for just didn’t exist. Or at least it did, but wasn’t coming on the market in my price range.

And it didn’t help that this last year was the worst year for real estate ever, so I’ve been told by real estate agents. No wonder nothing felt right. The sellers just weren’t putting their houses on the market. My mother came with me to all the viewings and we both agreed that the houses we’d looked at just weren’t even worth considering.

Reset expectations

In winter last year, I realised nothing would come on until spring. In spring (typically when loads of houses come on the market) I realised everyone was waiting for the October elections. So, I consoled myself that it would all happen in November.

There were a few house that came on the market, but nothing really suitable. After Christmas, I thought - that will be when things begin to move. And that was, in fact, the case.

But it was all the BIG houses that came on the market. With big sections and big price tags to match. I was beginning to think I should just settle for something, anything, even if it didn’t really match my requirements, just to get my life back on track and to stop moving from pillar to post.

Finally!

And then it came. The perfect little house in the perfect location with just the right amount of land and the beautiful trees I’d always wanted.

So I put in a tender. I was super excited. I was told I’d hear back that afternoon. Which I did, but only to hear they they wanted the weekend to consider the offer. I was a bit deflated.

Then on Saturday I got a call saying they’d like to negotiate. I got excited again. They took another couple of days to think some more and then said no - they were rejecting my offer!

The heartbreak

I was heartbroken. I’d finally found the only property in a whole year that I’d been interested in putting an offer on and been turned down. Rather than take my offer, they were going to keep it on the market.

I’d felt such relief that I’d found something that felt right, and matched my requirements. I could see the end of all the packing and unpacking that goes with house sitting. I could finally get my gear out of storage, sleep in my own bed, and lay down real roots. I really believed I was going to get the house - and then they said no.

I cried for two days. So close and yet so far. The idea of another year spent packing and unpacking every few weeks, and another year of searching for that elusive property, was pretty hard to take.

I tried consoling myself that something better was coming along, but given everything I’d seen so far I was finding that hard to believe. If these houses had been a dime a dozen, it wouldn’t have been a problem and I would simply have moved on to the next one. But finding a small house on a big section in a rural location is hard - they are as rare as hens teeth, so I knew it would be a long haul before another likely contender came up.

Letting go

Nevertheless, they had declined my offer, so after two days I pulled up my big girl pants, and decided to move on and let the house go. I shut the door on it in my mind, and started the search again, looking eagerly at the local property paper as soon as it arrived in the mail box that morning.

Within a matter of hours (in fact I think it was two hours later), I had a call from the real estate agent saying they had just unexpectedly received an email to say the vendors had reconsidered and dropped their price considerably. If I could match it, the house was mine.

After some frantic phone calls and support from family, I managed to match their offer and the documents were signed the following day. I’m now moving in next week and incredibly excited.

My own home

This is the first home I’ve ever owned on my own. It meets all the requirements I had in my mind (how good is that?) and I get to move in within a short time frame because neither of us are in a chain.

If I hadn’t let go and moved on, we’d still be at the stale mate. I had to allow things to run their course and let go of what I was clinging on to in order to allow it to happen.

At the time I had no idea this was going to happen. I was simply releasing all the emotional investment I had in the house and moving on. And I’m so pleased I did. It was hard to do at the time but I needed to continue my search and look at the potential of all the new houses coming on the market.

Where else?

I now look at other areas of my life to identify where I’m clinging and where I need to let go. This is not to say things will change as dramatically as they did in relation to the house, but I’m finding it is just good practice to release the attachments in order to stay in the flow. It’s still not easy though. Letting go is hard. It’s amazing how attached we get to material things, money, beliefs and ideas.

A new phase for me

Moving into my own home begins a whole new phase of my life. I’m so thrilled to be setting down roots in the lovely little town I now call home. The deposit is paid, the movers are booked, electricity is set up and insurance organised. All I need to do is get in there now (sigh).

Karen